Meanwhile, I'm in my room working my ass off to get my Zodiac Zeta. Three more mahatmas and I get it. In Eorzea, I am a Warrior of Light, and also a female. But genders don't really matter ingame as far as look go and in the end, what matters in there is how much you swing your axe, where you hit it, and of course... how you hit it.
This is a rant.
Social life is not one of my strongest points. Talking to strangers is never one of my strongest points. Sure, I can answer you if you ask me for directions and I know the way but if you expect me to take pictures of a friend's gathering, hanging out together in social places, you're going to be sorely disappointed. There are times when I feel I should change this, but then talking isn't just one of my strength.
Some people I know, hell a lot of people I know, not necessarily acquiantance or friends, they are easily likable by the masses. They are an attraction by themselves. If you hold a party or some sort of plan, that guy has to be there or the whole thing feels unfinished and not merry. I envy these people because they are talkative, smart, friendly and overall a very comfortable person to be with.
And of course they are people like me. Other people avoid me. They'd rather not go out of their way to interact with me because of unknown reasons. Some obvious ones are actually quite, well, obvious. I don't talk much. I answer either yes or no. I rarely bring up any personal stuff like, what did you eat yesterday or what are you going to do in the holidays. When I do, it feels too awkward for me and the person and I just stop. Sure, I can hold a conversation about say, studies, some stuff that the person and I find interesting together or say, you want to talk to me about this project. I can do that, no problem. But beyond that professional barrier, I'm as talkative as a tree.
But being this person and looking at the opposite side of my own attributes, I can see that some of us are just meant to be the merry man and some are just meant to sit there and be quiet. Because deep down, I know that I have a lot of weaknesses and my strengths aren't what you would call something that you can pinpoint the first moment you see me. They are people out there that if you meet once, you feel happy with him or her because they keep you being merry and they are people who you need to get to know very well in order to see what he's really like.
I'm sure that each of us turn out like what we are not just because of our upbringing, some people had advantages talking to more important people to boost their self-esteem, but also because we are who we are. We are meant to be like this, and if you can't hold a conversation too long or you are just too shy becoming someone you like to be, that is because we are who we are. Self-esteem aside, shy people has got enough confidence to be in conversation but our answers will be short and to the point.
If you ask me what I did yesterday, I would say the usual stuff. Exactly those words, yes.
If you ask some of my merry acquaintance, expect to add a friend to your friend list.
What I want to say is, I've been in a lot of groups, both offline and online, and although some members of the groups are people who would brighten up the day, there are those who sit in the middle and prefer to be quiet.
We aren't shy. We are just quiet.
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