There are several reasons that I would like to point out and they are reasonable enough that I trust my instincts to reveal them.
First up, I do not see the point of having like 200 friends but none of them are even close to me. Sure, they are like 5 to 10 people that I personally like and talk all the time with but that is far as it gets. Talking in the chat seems a lot of fun, because for me personally for a loner, I do not like to speak face to face or eye to eye. I have a disability to talk eye to eye for one, I do not know why but I just could not see their eyes without seeing all the lies they are saying right in front of my face and I have to hold on to my consciousness not to slap the other person. I do not hate lies but when they tell them in such a direct manner, my belly will convulse and my limbs will try to run away from that conversation. So, first reason would be is because why use such an indirect manner of revealing your thoughts and reasons when you can simply talk in them upfront.
Secondly, people compare themselves. Whenever I open that website and looked at all the cool things that others had done, I thought I was the only one not in the happening and it seemed that I am wasting my life away on studying and taking care of my family. They have such interesting life and I am the only one trying to make head or tail with it, but seeing that as a personal trait of mine, I leave it a second rate reason. The first rate would be that whenever people look at other people, they usually thought up the weakness upon themselves and became totally obsessed in making it as quiet as possible. Leaving my own experiences aside, doesn't people always say that you are you and what people think are nothing but illusions that will just slow us down? Then this social network is indeed that cloudy grey screen in my eyes and perhaps others. They are those who deny this, but no one can truly know your own weaknesses but rather of their own makings.
Thirdly, it is not a waste of our time to display a conscious part of ourselves but it may be relevant to point out that the side you may be pointing at is not what you decide to show, but the traits that you so called have no intention with and none other than you could understand. It's a futile attempt to explain it in simple words. Here's an idea. What if you write down in your status update, "I love Bumblebee in the Transformers!" For people like myself who are observant of what people are saying and how they say it, I would call you an avid attention whore. Excuse my French. Instead, what you really are trying to say is actually what you are trying to say which is you like a certain robotic alien with a dis-functional voice box and could transform into a sports car with black stripes. Or you could say that you really are an avid transformers fan. People look at you differently when they read your statutes. And more if that person knows you in real life.
I wouldn't say this is like a declaration that I do not like Facebook or other social sites but people are missing what we are truly trying to say. There's a huge percentage of what we are actually trying to say comes from our body language and for other people to understand truly what is trying to be transferred from you to themselves, body language plays a huge part in it. Social networks teach us to talk efficiently and reveal our feelings verbally, but that counts up only to certain part of the information that we truly want to access.
It seemed hard to reveal what you are tying to say for years, but this is truly what I see in Facebook. It is good in receiving data and statuses of other strangers but in order to truly know someone and to truly perceive information, one must be in direct contact of the other person and not just through a virtual medium. I made relationships, not THAT kind but a lot of kind, and until now, I have made countless break outs of other people's true feelings through words alone. But in reality, they are not what I perceive they are. They feel safe behind an IP address and thus, their mental defense goes down. I can break through quite easily but what's behind those walls are not everything.
This is not an essay or a declaration. It is what it is, just another post. It may be stupid or clever, I don't know but these are what I want to say.
I just want to make sure that I am good at something. A lot of people in my life are good or special in some way. A girl have the ability to see pureness in almost everything while a boy have won countless football matches. I cannot play sports because of my asthma and I cannot feel what other feel because I always ask 'why?' Others cannot write stories that I wrote, and others cannot find out what others are truly saying just by looking at their hands and the way they talk. But I cannot reveal these to others while others can just write them down in their statuses and shits and people cheer them. I feel like shit when I see that.
I cannot show what I have in my mind.
So what if my specialty is exactly there?
Nobody reads this because it's too long.
Therefore, I need to do this spacing shit.
So people will actually READ something at all.
I want to show my strengths but what if my strengths are actually destroying people's minds and smashing out other's thoughts?
I can't do shit when it's like that.
Shit.
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| Koiwai's a good guy. I want to be like him someday. |
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