More Ranting.

It is 1:50 AM on a Thursday early morning.

So, a lot has come and gone. A lot of things and stuffs has resolved itself and now my parents have some time for me.

Some time meaning perhaps half an hour.

"Move on... She's not right for you... Maybe this is an oppurtinity..." and so on has been offered by my loving mother. Meanwhile, my father keeps making jokes about girlfriends, wives and kids. The irony.

I'm keeping quiet of course. No talking back to your parents, remember? Keep it in your chest, do not blame anyone, keep improving yourself.

I have successfully make a habit of watching the time for the 5 times prayer. *clap*clap*clap*

What I have not successfully done is the "move on" part. Apparently, I still want her. She's kind, caring, loving, beautiful, happy and understanding. But most of all, she understands what I say. That, my friends, is a clue that a person is meant to be by your side for a while.

It hurts when you try to talk with someone, but the person just doesn't want to reply. Answer. It hurts to be ignored. It hurts more when you know for one small thing, big consequences apply. She wanted to call her this evening, I did and... she went straight to the "bye" part without that one sentence. What I have been trying to glue together has now come apart again.

I did say the sentence, fully knowing (or perhaps not) about what has to come after that. I skipped the boyfriend part and straight to husband. After all, that's what nice people do, right? It's what nice people are being told to do. By the community. You like the girl? Find her parents, offer some money, get a ring, BOOM she's yours. Because coupling is for bad people, and I do not want her to be a bad person.

The more I say, the more I want to get out. So, in order to save whoever is reading this some precious time, I get to the point.

I didn't even get to the first step. Find her parents. It stopped right there. Like a huge banner portraying the single thing that's wrong with me and I need to fix it ASAP. You guys know what it is if you read the post before. Small thing, big consequences.

I'm not saying her part is somewhat too early to judge me. It's never too early to judge someone who's perhaps going to be guiding your daughter. I'm not saying I hate anyone either (Don't blame anyone). Just keep your heads up, and stay on the track that you're going to fix this and you're going to make it right. However, nobody said how LONG the track is going to be and how SHORT a human's patience can be.

Being perfect is not about being true to everyone. Being perfect is about being true to a special case.

Take one example:

An apple that wants to be perfect for a person has to be:

a) Red
b) Juicy
c) Circular
d) Big

But it changes from one person to another. Another person would want an apple that is:

a) Green
b) Solid
c) Circular
d) Medium sized

The trick to being perfect, is to list up the criteria needed to be perfect for a special case. In my case, the perfection part comes up short of one single thing. You can find out what it is in the previous post.

Now, some of you may have been saying that I am delusional and I'm just seeing things that I want to see. When in fact, a bigger picture is in effect.Well you know what, you can never see the bigger picture because the bigger picture would ALWAYS involve the correct future. The future that we're going to have RIGHT NOW.

bla bla bla bla... But dude, you're just being "philosophical" about this. Say this thing in layman's terms, man.

Life is like a river. "Oh boy, here we go again." Don't leave just yet.

The river has to flow SOMEWHERE. Most of us know that rivers flow to the sea where it joins other rivers into a big pool of water.

Now, imagine you are a fish in the river and you cannot do ANYTHING to go to the other direction. But you can steer yourself to avoid, jump over, or butthead yourself the deathly rocks that are at the bottom of the river. You can also just ignore those rocks. You can even try to MOVE the rocks by simply charge into it as fast as you can.

But you will never know what rocks will be coming at you and when the bloody ashes are you going to get to the sea. Now that is ONE river. With ONE fish.

Other rivers may join yours. Other fishes would catch up to you. Other times, you don't even know that the rock you're trying to push, is the same rock that 60 other fishes are trying to push too. Other times, you may just find that other fishy that you like. And come to appreciate, love and caress.

Until the river splits apart.

And then you come to see that you can never see what's coming ahead. You can never know for sure what the future holds. In order to make a bigger picture, you need to know what the future is going to be. That is quite impossible.

So let's recap.

Judgemental is not a human flaw, it is what makes us human. Judgement demands perfection. But perfection is only to a special case. The special case is the "big picture" and we can never know what it is because we cannot see the correct future.

You want an equation? Fine.

J =/= F, J = Hu.
J <----> P, where P ---> Sc. 
Sc  = Pic, where Pic (x-->infinity) = 0.

J = Judgement
F = Flaw
Hu = Human
P = Perfection
Sc = Special Case
Pic = Big Picture.

If you don't know what the arrow and the double arrow is, look up "implications" on mathematics. If you see x ---> infinity = 0, it means you can never know what it is until you see it BUT you can get very close to it.

That's it for today's philosophical and maths hybrid lesson, please comment your answers for the homeworks and don't forget to review the chapter on "Humanity." We are going to go through that after this, I'm quite sure.

Homework

In one sentence, less than 15 characters, explain what is meant by Big Picture.

Good night, I love you and bye.